Have you ever felt totally alone? Have you ever felt like you were the only one experiencing your experience? This post is for you.
There was a conversation between myself and an unnamed, beautiful soul, who has been experiencing pain and isolation. Pain is no stranger to me – neither is the thought that I am totally, irrevocably, impossibly alone in experiencing it. It got me thinking — the impossibility of alone-ness. Is it even possible? Then I started writing. And here is a post dedicated to anyone that is suffering, and feeling alone.
466,174,020,180,000 REASONS WHY NOT.
At the time of writing, there were 7,769,567,003 people on this planet. In an article published by Huffington Post, it’s been estimated that each human can have 50-70,000 thoughts, PER DAY. I did the maths on my calculator…at an average of 60K thoughts, that is 466,174,020,180,000 individual thoughts in a 24 hour cycle.
Thoughts come in the form of musings, reactions, responses and impressions to ‘happenings’, otherwise known as a ‘perspective’. They are rarely in the present moment. And somehow, with trillions of these happening every day, it is very possible for us to believe that we are totally alone in our experience, but that can only be partially true.
We can choose to leverage each experience, not as the definition of us, but as the teachers with which to locate the qualities of that bigger, multi-perspective truth. In this way, each realisation is the freeing of us.
Integral theorist (a man that I have a lot of love for) Ken Wilber, stated that ‘all truths are partial’: Each person’s perspective is true, but the caveat is that they are each partial truths. The perspective, or vantage point, of every living being on this planet is therefore a part of a whole, a division of the completeness of life.
This was pretty jarring for me when this was first heard by me — the journey for me had been all about ‘finding that one truth’, and here is this guy who is saying that truth lies in all of us. HUH? ? Sit with that for a moment – if you have or haven’t heard it before. I thought it was something to be found — on the outside. Newsflash – it exists on the inside AND the outside.
If our thinking about our experience is a partial truth, and it is constantly evolving, changing and taking different form, then one might argue that any replication, or attempted repetition of the experience is an incomplete truth. The main issue with self-story-telling, is that its a faint replica, or photocopy, of a partial truth that was available, in one particular moment, at another time.
BUT IT’S JUST SO ‘PERSONAL’, RIGHT?
Our stories are so PERSONAL, right? It is all about ME, MY experience, how I felt. The ‘I’ is the one common denominator in all our experience, so it therefore has to be about us…right? Yet again, Ken’s wise words ring true: This is a partial truth. Your experience is a part of the bigger one.
We are quite literally hooked on our own ‘story’. Like addicts, we can’t get enough of our faint, photocopied version of the world – so much so, that we miss the truth of reality around us most of the time (unless you are so badass and Ninja at being present that this isn’t a fair representation of you, of course).
Every time we become aware that we are telling ourselves a story, we might ask ourselves the question – is it possible for this faint photocopy, regardless how faint or clear, able to tell the whole truth, right now, in this moment? It is also precisely the reason that we are missing the moment that is available to us – right now, and now, and now… Best bit is — it is FREE.
Some words often found exiting from my mouth in sessions with clients:
- With over 7 billion people on the planet, do you honestly believe you are the only one? You are NEVER alone.
- You story, whilst absolutely valid, and entirely true, for you, is only a story. So perhaps be aware of the choice you have for it not to define you.
- You and your experience are an integral, vital part of this world, regardless of what you may think in the moment.
A truth that is held closely by me: The work on the ‘self’ is the most important client work any of us could undertake. The opportunity is to take each experience, regardless of ‘good’ or ‘bad’, hold it with both hands, observe/skip the judgement and self-talk, and hold it close. We can choose to leverage each experience, not as the definition of us, but as the teachers with which to locate the qualities of that bigger, multi-perspective truth. In this way, each realisation is the freeing of us.
If you don’t know how to ‘work’ on your self, in this moment, then remember this: Every guide, map and plan already exists – and you will find each other, when you are completely ready to begin looking. For now, just be aware of the stories you are telling your self.
Every thought will pass.
It cannot not.
With gratitude, and a bucket of love,
Nathan