Demonstrating the ways we can do 'missing'

FOMO: Fear Of Missing Out
JOMO: Joy Of Missing Out
NOMAA: Nothing Missing, At All.

This post is a brief exploration of my past battles with not wanting to miss out on the fun, and the realisation that this was based on the ‘missing’ inside. 

A few moments ago it was Christmas, and suddenly it’s time for Mardi Gras again. There was a time that I would have been at as many parties as I could, convinced that I would miss out on the fun…

FOMO was a conditioning that ran me – it still does from time to time, creeping back in surreptitiously. It had me wanting to be front and centre, ever since I was a child. I would HATE to leave the party (actual tantrums – ask my poor mum), and hated it when the party ended. I loved having fun, and hated being bored.

The thought there would be ‘missing out’ was the driver. What lay behind that was the fact that I always had this feeling that something was missing for me on the inside. Distraction was my middle name, because I believed that the joy/fun/happiness existed somewhere on the outside.

More recently I played with JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out), realising that joy is found in NOT doing something, NOT being in the midst of all the fun, and this was a good way to explore another way of doing things. However, even in this I would manage to find an activity – not doing one thing would still have me ‘doing’ another.

Available to me now is the ability to observe what’s driving the actions – what is driving the decision making. If I choose to go to a bar or club, it is based on a choice, not a feeling that there is any missing happening. It required me to look beyond the obvious to see this clearly.

Taking that a step further, there is a realisation that there isn’t anything missing at all. 

NOMAA: NOthing Missing, At All

One of the key tools employed in my unfolding has been the Enneagram: To discuss how this is used in my practice, and how it could work for you, drop me a note here.

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