Since arriving back in Australia from the inaugural BODY // MIND // FLOW World Tour, there has been a bunch of unpacking, as well as some prep for the holiday season.
As my amazing parents are making the massive trip over to Sydney to spend the Christmas break with me, I’ve been clearing out cupboards.
I was rummaging through a bunch of suitcases and found the backpack I first came to this country with in 2018.
It got me thinking…
The holiday season can be challenging, triggering and all out anger-making, thanks to being around family members that we either aren’t used to being in close proximity with, or would otherwise choose not to be.
This was true for me, too (and if I am honest, still can be in certain moments!).
I am oftentimes asked the question ‘what would be the one thing that you would share with someone, given your now years of studying human behaviour?’.
It is a hard question to answer, but if anything, I would say the following…
Human behaviours are habituated. They form in the face of our primary caregiver/s. We either copy, or contradict the nuances of those caregivers. Either way, they have been formed by this relationship.
>>> THIS CAN BE A BITTER PILL FOR MANY TO SWALLOW <<<
We cannot NOT be influenced or informed by our environment and those directly within it.
So if our own behavioural patterns are informed in the face of our caregivers, and theirs in the face of their own caregivers, then this has been going on quite literally for thousands of years.
Even if you knew your family tree in depth, how much detail do you have access to around personalities, characters and behaviours? Documented or undocumented (autobiographies, biographies, journals, recordings), these are not the full picture – how could they be?
If it is intergenerational, then this leaves me with the following conclusion:
***IT IS NEVER PERSONAL***
This is not meant to excuse events, or pardon people from unacceptable behaviours. What it does do, if you can try it on for a moment, is make space for compassion, for empathy, and for objectivity.
From a place of compassion, empathy and objectivity, it is possible to begin to take a look at what work WE can be doing (as in YOU, I, US) to clear what is un-resourceful/not serving us/dis-functional in service of our own peace and sense of easful-ness.
It also allows us to free the generations that are to come.
As you confront your own baggage this holiday season, what CAN you unpack?
What CAN you give thanks for, and then clear, once and for all?
If you can see it, you are aware of it. The next step is to observe, without judgment.
Remember, the only person you can be TRULY responsible (RESPONSE-ABLE) is your self.
We all have baggage – for this is the human condition.
It’s what we choose to DO with it that counts.
It takes work, yes, but once you see a pattern, it is almost impossible not to see it.
You got this.
To your own clearing journey, from ME, with LOVE.